Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Is God Enough?

Tears are flowing. I can't catch a breath. Emotions are running ramped through the core of my soul as I begin to ask myself such a scary question, "Is God enough." I want to believe my answer will always be yes. I want to believe that no matter what happens to my marriage, my kids, my health, my family, my friends, or my church that God is enough. But there is always that little doubt that if something immeasurably awful might happen I could still believe in my heart of hearts that God was enough.

One of our favorite pastor's, Matt Chandler, recently had brain surgery to remove a brain tumor. He is one of the most unbelievable pastor's George and I have experienced in our short time in ministry and he is quite possibly facing the immeasurably awful. A 35 year old man who has done nothing but believe God, preach the gospel, and live a life full of grace and love. He has led hundreds if not thousands into eternity with God the Father and here he faces the immeasurable. My flesh wants to scream out, "it is not fair." My heart wants to plead with God, "why, why, why?" But Matt reminds me that for him, if he never gets to watch his son play football, walk his daughter down the aisle, or kiss his wife again, that God is enough. And I am humbled to my knees.

I realize that as a couple on the front lines of ministry, the enemy is always on attack. I watched it happen on Sunday. Saturday night both of my girls were vomiting violently. They were sick, sick, sick. And I knew all it was, was the enemy fighting against something that was going to be more powerful and more glorious than he could handle. Sunday was glorious. Sunday was amazing. God was powerful. And here we were being attacked to keep it from happening. I have experienced it time and time again. And if I am totally honest, as I tend to be, it scares me. I know our family will always be the target of attack. Our health, our relationships, our love for the Lord will be the big red target for the enemy.

And so I ask myself, is God enough? Will He be enough when the attack comes? Will He be enough if I lose it all? Will He be enough and all I need or want. I want to believe that I love Him enough to always say yes. But it scares me. I know the kind of love He has for me and believe that He loves me enough to use me for His glory alone. And whatever that looks like I am willing to endure because His grace is sufficient for me. It is sufficient for me in the moment, but not a minute before. And when I am in the moment He will be enough. But if I endure with Him, because He is enough, I will have nothing to fear. I believe this. I do, I really do. But I wouldn't be completely honest, or completely me, if I didn't say it scares me.

We need your prayers. We need your support as we face attacks and we face the enemy and his schemes to destroy us. Pray that God is enough. Pray that God is all we need. Pray that God will be glorified when the storms come. And then Praise Him. Praise Him that even if the world is crumbling around us, He is enough. That He is a God who is so loving, so wonderful, so merciful and so perfect, that even facing the immeasurable HE IS ENOUGH!

Until next time,